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Below are the 18 most recent journal entries.

 

 
  2004.09.13  13.41


yeah so my computer is broke so im using the crappy school ones and probably will read this off my shoulder but i this point i feel so MEH so i dont really care. i feel so isolated today and its one of them days that you realise you have no real friends you have the people you hang around with but noone that actually truely cares. God im depressing today. last night i had a rough night ian started seeing lucy ha ah aha that will be fun. doesnt mean anything that we have been 'messing around for the past month but hey i was just filling in like i usually do. You think i wouldnt be that upset and that i would be use to it, still hurts liek crazy though. no matter how many times it happens. Its going to be weird but ill get use to it i always will. i shud of seen it comming but im stupid and i didnt nothing i can do now, but wish them all the happiness god now i sound like im dying :D robert was there got drunk as usual had to be carried awayhe really doesnt know when to stop. i just wanna know if he didnt liek me why carry on messing around with me?? all these questions will never get answered they never have and never will i wonder if he did every care? and why do i care if he cares (i can see this getting silly) anyways best go i have a business studies presentation to do for tomorrow and i really dont yasmin has asked lucy to come round tonight no invite for me though oh well suppose she thinks ill be to busy will my business still would of been nice to be asked ian will probably end up going round oh the fun. Martyn was super nice last night he puts up with alot from me i met robert last night but it was more of a mate meet then an actually meet meet. i told him i didnt want to be fucked up anymore and that if anything happened then it would and for the past couple of months i have been. it is quite ironice that whilst i saying all that ian was meeting
lucy. Someone said that maybe its a blessing in disguise at least i can maybe get over him but look what happened whilst he was seeing catherine it didnt help. i just have to take one day at a time and not think about seeing them together cos that is going to tear my heart out i can see it now. he hasnt even talked to me hes such a fucking coward (mood move away from depression and more into anger) i hate him for doing this to me, i hate me for letting him do this to me lol repetiviness is creeping in that means im even boring myself i think my rant needs to come to an end cos people are starting to ask questions about what im typing and its ian and i dont want him to read this ill update as soon as i can get a new monitor

 
 


 
  2004.07.04  20.58
This Week...

My updatingnessage has slowed down alot recently due to my lack of committment and high levels of boredom which result in me being disheartened from doing anything.

Been a pretty ok week all in all, was sick monday and tuesday due to the fact i had way to much to drink in phils the previous saturday. It was kinda cute though cos robert rang me phone and was shouting at nicola cos she wouldnt wake me up and then he shouted at me cos he said i could of been raped or anything. Althougth it was a bit extreme it was cute cos it showed he kinda cared.

Apart from that nothing really happened this week, oh the school went out to town on friday which was good katie and claire left me to get us all out of the toilets whilst 2 smackheads were trying to give cocaine to katie. i had a dance with everyone and all in all it was a good night. Martyn said i was the soundest girl he knows which is pretty cute and strange since we had been arguing all day but oh well. He minded my bag for me whilst i danced which i thought was sweet. I kept getting snarls off katie whenever i was with ian, which is know ridocouls cos there is nothing between us apart from a litle harmless flirting.

Robert rang me on friday and i just missed him so we talked till about 5 then the battery went on the phoen like it usually does when we talk so i decided that would be a good time to get some sleep.

I didnt do anything on saturday cos my feet were killing, but today i went to town with Anne and got a dress top and some pearls to make into a belt. I cant wait to go on holiday.

Anyways thats all im typing cos thats all i can think off

 

 



 
 


 
  2004.06.15  14.21




 
 


 
  2004.06.05  14.09


pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything.
pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.

it's the way that he makes you feel.
it's the way that he kisses you.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love.

she's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
the killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.

it's the way that he makes you feel.
it's the way that he kisses you.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love.

pretty girl... pretty girl...

pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything.
pretty soon she'll figure out: you can never get him out of your head.

it's the way that he makes you cry.
it's the way that he's in your mind.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love.
it's the way that he makes you feel.
it's the way that he kisses you.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love...

 
 


 
  2004.05.30  18.05
Oh what a night!

i wrote this out and accidently i cant be bothered writing it all now ill just write the main points

  • waited an hour for the bus
  • bus driver got shot
  • went into a pub, nicola walked into the mens toliets
  • phil and matthew had to come and find us cos we were lost
  • got there had a water fight
  • met phil
  • had a cob on with phil cos kate was on his knee all night and i get jealous
  • cliveo asked me to go upstairs with him but i couldnt even though hes sooooo fit cos i couldnt do it to phil even though he was being a twat
  •  phil made it up to me
  • only one fight happened (Brucey and the fella over the road)
  • me and nicola fell down the stairs
  • went back to matthews
  • broke his toliet roll holder
  • phil tickled my back and i went to sleep
  • got a taxi at 6
  • got to nicolas at 6.40
  • went home
  • went to town
  • came home from town

my other one was a better one maybe one day when i can bothered ill change this and write down some of the funniest events cos i cant be arsed writting everything

byes for now love alison xxxxxx



 
 


 
  2004.05.27  21.39


i feel like 'meh'

 
 


 
  2004.05.21  22.23
one big circle...

i odnt know what to write but....

its happening again with ian
i dont know what i want
robert offically has a girlfriend
im jealous of everything
i dont like who iam
i dont know who iam or who i want to be
i hate school
i hate everything
and eveyone around me

im just unhappy

 
 


 
  2004.05.16  19.23


hi i forgot to write this before check on this band silozane you can get a free cd on the site i got it the other day and i was pleasently suprised

 
 


 
  2004.05.13  10.30


i never wrote yesterday i couldnt really be bothered which kinda somes up the mood ive been in for the past week. I dont know where iam half the time. one minute im happy one the next i wanna die something is seriously worng i best go people are trying to look

 
 


 
  2004.05.11  10.19



My life is rated R.
What is your life rated?



im addicted to theses tests at the moment i cant get enough!!
If you know any please leave me a comment.

i havent really updated mcuh recently but i will start doing so soon im just in IT now getting ready to go to government and politics how excititng!!!!!!!

anyways i may write something later for test is in two weeks!!!!

 
 


 
  2004.05.08  09.19



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What fashionable underground band/style are you?

this quiz was made by the sunni bunni bear




ha ha ha i dont think so

 
 


 
  2004.04.24  20.14
Another fun saturday night!

HELLO!!!!!!

Im in a supriseingly (cant spell) happy mood tonight i fell asleep in the garden before so ive burnt all my shoulders and back but oh well with luck it may go brown. Right now browny is telling me how is awful his life is and how his english teacher has it in for him im about this much     [--] away from blocking him.

Im going to london on tuesday i cant wait it will be good i like all the peopel who are goign apart from one so it should be good.

i was in a mongy mood last night i feel like a tit now i got a cob on wit karl cos he wasnt really talking and then i found out he was talking to his 'southport bitch' so i got pissed off cos alot of peopel have been doing that they have been talking one minute with me then next mnute there not talking and you ask them why and they say so and so are on. its annoying i like im the fill in till that special someone comes on, but thats me taking it to personally and also my paranoid side comes out.

ha ha browny is telling me how he needs people to work in his work and he says if you knwo anyone who is looking for a job get them to hand a cv in to me, he knows i need a job but ive rather have no money than work with him and then i sed oh im too busy with school to get a job and he replied

unfortunatly i share that same prob but i ave 2 put the effort in

cheeky bastard hes only resitting his GCSEs im doing four a levels

and then he asked  me to tell anyone who needs a job and i say ok and the he says..

thanks babes i owe ya 1

so now he is blocked :D

anyways best go love alison xxxx





Mood: happy
Music: something corprate - punk rock princess (acoustic)
 
 


 
  2004.03.31  22.19
karl

karl is the sexiest man ever!

 
 


 
  2004.03.30  22.22
Hug Counters

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Get hugs of your own


If you hug me please leave a comment and tell me who you are

 
 


 
  2004.03.29  19.09


guilt makes people act funny

depression tears you apart



Mood: thoughtful
Music: placebo- without you im nothing
 
 


 
  2004.03.25  22.42


ok so you might be wondering why i posted all these posts on the same day the reasoning behind this is that i have just made this acocunt and i have transferred some of my posts onto this acocunt.
they are also in the wrong order sorry im a bit of a 'tard neways thats al im writing today.



Mood: sleepy
Music: pretty girls make graves- this is our emergency
 
 


 
  2004.03.25  22.41
the window shopper

IAM:
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDf)


Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper.

You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come.



Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.

Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.


BEWARE: The Hornivore

CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy

 
 


 
  2004.03.25  22.40
love = confusing

im so fucked up today and feeling quite sorry for myself im in love and id dont mean stupid teenage love i mean proper love, well it feels anyway and i know im just gettin messed around

can you ever be friends if you of you is in love?

i found a poem today i freind wrote me a while ago its amazing. im going to write it here soon



Mood: depressed
Music: funeral for a friend - this letter
 
 



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